50 THINGS VIDEO GAMES HAVE TAUGHT ME ABOUT LIFE:
1: Food heals your wounds.
2: Fallen enemies/allies will almost always leave behind something useful.
3: When there are a lot of people working for someone, the minions tend to be identical to each other.
4: When I die, I can come back to life if I have a clone who looks just like me (might explain the above).
5: There is a path of money along the ground that will lead me to where I want to go.
6: No matter what the currency is, I can exchange at a conveniently open shop for something valuable.
7: Bats, cats, spiders, dogs, snakes, scorpions, zombies, skeletons, mummies, and other dangerous animals are in the big Baddy's employ.
8: My own weapons won't hurt me, and an explosive's power has a short range.
9: Said weapons can never run out of ammo (unless they're ones I find on the ground).
10: Whatever new weapon/item I just received will help me beat the boss.
11: Said boss will always be at the end of the level with several hundred enemies in between us.
12: Said boss will also have a weak spot/phase of weakness that I can exploit, no matter what.
13: The weak points are almost always the face, the head, eyes, the mouth, old wounds, anything pulsating, a strange looking gem, lights, the thing that needs to charge up, machines/magic sources that empower the boss, whatever I can reach with an item, or made of glass.
14: The best fighting moves can only be achieved with the hardest combos.
15: There are items that can make me temporarily invincible.
16: After getting hit once I'm temporarily immune to damage.
17: Life has a difficulty setting that can be changed if things get too tough.
18: Enemies take turns attacking each other.
19: When in doubt, cheat codes.
20: Spikes will instantly kill you. Always.
21: There's always a way to the boss.
22: Potions will always do something helpful.
23: I can charge up some weapons for better attacks.
24: When you run out of lives, you can choose if you want to continue or not.
25: There's always background music. (except sometimes for the cutscene)
26: You can get a hold of a radar/map that's not only capable of telling you where you are, but who's around and whether they're friend, foe, or NPC.
27: If you fill up your meter, you can unleash a devastating attack that wipes out all enemies in sight.
28: Sometimes pits aren't full of spikes, but being bottomless is just as bad.
29: When racing/driving, there are places/items that you can use to increase your speed for a while.
30: Enemies don't check boxes that tend to move around a lot.
31: If you hit an item while driving, you won't need to stop to utilize it.
32: Almost any ammo is good for any weapon.
33: You can fight ghosts with guns, bombs, swords, your fists & vacuum cleaners.
34: Flamethrowers won't set anything but your enemies & wooden stuff on fire.
35: Bubbles can give you enough air to last longer underwater.
36: Projectile weapons move slow enough to be avoided.
37: Dead enemies flicker away instead of remaining there.
38: If a door is blocked off, it usually means it's not the right path.
39: A colored key/key card has a lock that matches it.
40: Shops almost always have JUST what I need.
41: Bubbles aren't always friendly.
42: You'll never take damage from jumping down a great height.(unless it's a bottomless pit or had, like, spikes or lava)
43: Double jumps are both possible and awesome. ^^
44: Collecting enough of a set of rare items will unlock something.
45: You can drive any vehicle without actually needing to take lessons.
46: No one will question your choice of alternate costumes, whether you look stupid or you're pretty much naked.
47: Springs can always help you jump higher.
48: Most puzzles have a clue as to how to solve it.
49: Unless you're wearing a particular costume/have a particular item, no matter what new environment you enter, you will most likely die.
50: It sucks being in a video game.